Sunday, August 25, 2013

叫人寫推薦信


這樣的事情遇過不少,最近又有類似的。

也許是小事,但我總認為,抱著如此心態的朋友,應該很難活得好。

學生來電郵,謂準備申請到外國唸碩士,希望我寫一封推薦信。留學大事,闖蕩地球,自是義不容辭,這位學生總算有點交情,也希望她能於人浮於事之際,有機會到外地充實自己。我答:無問題哦!

過了數星期,這位學生又來電郵,問我是否忘記了寫推薦信的事,她說她還未收到推薦信。

我萬分詫異,我一直在等她告訴我準備唸什麼,哪間學校,為何要唸,有何抱負等,沒有這些資料,叫人如何寫一封有意義的推薦信?打電話叫外賣薄餅都要講清楚你叫乜嘢pizza吧。

我回覆說:在等你給我資料,你什麼都沒告訴我,如何寫呢?

轉眼間她傳來一份簡單之極的見工履歷,說準備唸國際關係;除此以外,什麼資料都沒有,她不打算講述留學的抱負,明顯地,她根本沒想太多,甚至沒有想過。

此刻,完全明白推薦信如何寫了,如果還會寫的話。

常會反躬自問,有沒有以「老奉」的態度叫朋友幫手做嘢,而忘記了道謝、忽略了人家的感受,以為一切都是理所當然?

我估計有的,可能還不少。網絡世界,一切溝通都在電郵、fb message,這種有一句沒一句的答話方式,朋友頭像太多,訊息數量太多,訊息短促,有時未讀以為讀了,未答以為答了,看了又忘了,未謝又以為謝過。

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年前寫過幾篇文章,有關學生面試表現。我想,每個年代都有這類「儍人」,沒有「一蟹不如一蟹」意思,稍為注意一下,最少可以不在起跑線上輸掉。概括而言,這一代年輕人,「醒」的人比往日多很多﹔若論溝通能力,可能稍遜,則似乎是源於怪獸家長與社會環境的過分保護了。

相關文章,求職面試三篇:


7 comments:

  1. I think the problem is that most of the people have the same problem you have mentioned above is that they might not aware of the process of how to ask someone a recommendation letter (including myself).
    Typically the first recommendation letter we have receive is during our primary or secondary education, the letter has already been written and told we cannot open the letter we have no idea what was written about us and all we need to do is to drop off the letter.
    Therefore, when many of us have heard that from people or application form that we need recommendation letter, all we might think about is to ask the person, the person will just write it and ship it to us and all we need to do is to pick up a letter and attach to the form. Assuming that the lady you have mentioned have no previous experience to ask for a recommendation letter in a post-secondary level and she did not ask for help (or she might but did not receive appropriate feedback), that might be why she have behave the way she was. I knew that because I had run into similar situation too. Few times in fact, and I had no idea that I need to give out a structure first for person to work upon so the person got upset at me.
    I am actually glad that you clarify the process for my and many other clueless youngsters and thank you for speaking out the concerns. I would imagine there would be other people who might not aware these sort of post-secondary academic manners, since they are not seen as needed as job hunting skills.

    Thank you.

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  2. Hi Meowkun,

    I believe, even in the cast of job-hunting, the referee should know more about your aspirations before he/she can write a more personal and non-routine recommendation letter. Otherwise, the reference letter you get will be very 'mechanical' and will not be helpful at all.

    For most academic applications, the institutions usually discard those recommendations that have no personal touch.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 補充多句:千篇一律的推薦信,和一封有個人感情的推薦信,效果相差百倍。如果找到一個願意給你寫推薦信而他的位置又有信服力的話,不要輕易放過,要努力令寫信的人更了解你所思所想,才有好結果。

    ReplyDelete
  4. 人的經驗有限。

    曾經找一個高位置又有信服力的人寫推薦信。勁人,通常理性冷靜不輕易隨便有個人感情影響的人,通常很難答允。這勁人認識我,我對他是單純的敬佩,他對我好壞各半。

    第一次有機會需要推薦信,因不知如何找人而煩惱。偶然機會遇到勁人,談話觸及推薦信,他不好推辭的場合,應允了。日後給予勁人推薦信表格,勁人剛外出,留下表格離去。數日後放心不下,再找勁人補充資料。(是「我」萬分詫異,我畢業後如何長足長進,如何勁,還沒告訴你,你如何寫呢?)。誰料勁人說,表格已填,直接寄回機構,推薦信按習慣是不給予當事人看的。我相信,勁人的信譽會寫下中肯的評語,即係不特別推薦信。

    如果我了解多一點推薦信的過程,我不會如此輕率找該勁人。經驗不足,大慨也是輸在起跑線上的一種吧。

    後記:勁人真係勁,我利用上班前交補充資料時至勁人辦公室,發覺勁人 7:00 已在辦公,估計 6:00 起床出門。

    ReplyDelete
  5. 我是另一個極端,總是唔好意思叫人寫推薦信,怕麻煩到別人。如果現職的上司覺得我工作表現好,當然不想我走,怎好意思叫他推薦我另謀高就(如果走唔成又尷尬)?如果上司討厭我,又不會寫出什麼好話。
    也有想過找對上一兩份工的舊上司,但又好似咁耐無見劈頭就叫人家幫忙好似不太好,借辭聚舊食餐飯,再”順便”提出要求嗎?又好似好假。讀書時的Lecturer/Professor 更加唔駛講,咁耐冇聯絡一定唔記得我。
    像我這種怕麻煩人的彆忸性格,注定撈唔掂吧。

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 我感覺,大部分推薦信都是「行貨」,只是聊備一格,寫的人不太認真,看的人也不重視。但若你一種burning desire要做一件事,總可以找到合適的人幫你寫一封似樣的推薦信。

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    2. 你說得對,硬著頭皮問的話,還是有的,但過程真的為我帶來很大心理壓力。有點羨慕那些缺乏同理心、不懂為人著想的傢伙,人生少好多煩惱呢。=p
      區生,想知道站在你的立場,一個交情一般的舊下屬/學生請你寫推薦信(假設他們有禮貌、態度誠懇吧),有什麼感覺?是否好唐突?會否覺得,本人工作已很繁重,為什麼還要浪費時間幫你? 而且還可能有手尾跟,一些機構會打電話來check reference的。

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